


Escapism

by Jeanettebitch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies), 進撃！巨人中学校 | Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou | Attack on Titan: Junior High
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cat, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Hange Zoë's Experiments, Hanji - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda friends with benefits, Lesbian Sex, Loneliness, Modern Era, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Mutual Masturbation, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other, POV First Person, Service Top, Sexual Tension, She/Her and They/Them Pronouns for Hange Zoë, Smut, Top Hange Zoë, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Vaginal Fingering, aot - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform, dom hange, hange x reader, hange zoe - Freeform, hange/reader - Freeform, hanji x reader, lesbian shit, plant mom hanji, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:53:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanettebitch/pseuds/Jeanettebitch
Summary: Two adults who hate their lives try to find a way to run away from it through the comfort of each other. They find a way to escape through each other, finding love as they get to know each other. Being next door neighbors, they console with each other to ease the loneliness they feel inside of them.- Modern AU- Hanji X  FemReader- A very wholesome Hange Zoe love story :D
Relationships: Hange Zoë & Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Hange Zoë/You
Comments: 42
Kudos: 249





	1. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, there will be smut in the future ;)
> 
> and I'm sorry if I have any grammatical errors

-

I leaned against the rails of the ledge just before the downtown river, right at the waterfront, with my feet standing on the first bottom line of the rails. The cheeks were red from the liquor of earlier. I looked around the dimly lit grounds around me. The walkway was filled with trees neatly lined and vintage street lights. The sky was dark, the sun set an hour or so ago, but the moon was shining brightly. I looked next to me, most likely 20 feet away from me I saw this person, this random stranger. They were smoking a cigarette, the drug placed between two of their fingers as they leaned against the rails with their forearms. Almost falling face front into the water from the unsteadiness of my drunkenness, I came off the railing and walked to them. I unknowingly shoved their shoulder as I leaned on the railing right next to them, dropping their cigarette on the floor.

“Shit,” They mumbled seeing the blunt lay on the ground, now infested with germs and dirt. “That was probably for the best though.” They turned to me, immediately noticing my red stained cheeks and drunken facial expressions. Seeing the wind blow against my face as I pouted for no reason besides just being drunk gave them a small smile. “You know, it’s not safe to be going out like that at night right? There’s creeps everywhere.” She looked over the river waters with me.

I rolled my eyes. “And what are  _ YOU _ doing out here looking so sad.” I pouted at her. “Did your cat died? You _KNOW_ , you seem like cat person.” My words were exaggerated from the influence of alcohol in my system.

She giggled at my drunken grammar and slurred words. “I don’t know, and yes I am a cat person.” She lightly tapped her fingernails on the top of the rails. 

“I’m y/n,” I grinned, my cheeks red from alcohol, “What’s your name?” I drunkenly rolled my head onto her shoulder, but she didn’t seem to mind it.

“You can say...Hanji,” She softly smiled before looking down next to her on her shoulder to see me resting my head there.

I giggled. “That is a pretty name,” I spoke my words bubbly, almost like each word was a staccato. I pouted again, “Why are you sad?”

“And why are you so drunk?” Hanji avoided the question with her own question.

“I asked first.” I glared at her, my head still resting on her shoulder.

She’s so drunk that she’ll probably not remember this, why not spill out all my problems on her; were the type of thoughts going on in Hanji’s mind before giving me her answer to my question. “Work.” She took a sigh. It was a quick, but honest answer.

“Work, something I’ll always hate.” I groaned as I slammed my face against the rails, giving Hanji a concerned look for me. 

“So...why are you drunk?”

“I have nothing left in my life to do. I have no reason to simply live, what’s the point of doing all of this? Everyday is a bore.” I groaned, stomping my foot on the ground like a child.

Hanji giggled, “I ask myself that everyday too.” She  leaned in on her forearms closer to the rails, bringing her face down to see the water clearer.   
  
“Well, I hope your boss dies in a ditch.” I grinned at her before leaving, but as I turned I stumbled on my own feet and fell down to the ground.

Hanji tried hard not to laugh at my pathetic state, “You need help there?” She looked down at me from the concrete ground.

I shook my head, I can do this myself. I tried to stand up, but fell down again as Hanji watched me fail. She giggled at my attempts before grabbing onto my arm and putting me on her back.

“I can do it myself,” I pouted as I laid my head on her shoulder while on her back. Though my mouth was saying that I could walk fine alone, my body was already comfortable on her back. 

“I don’t think you can.” Hanji softly giggled as she walked. “Where do you live?”

“Woaahhhh there.” My eyes widened.   


“You would rather have me take you to my place?” Hanji stopped in her tracks and looked back on her shoulder at me.

I puckered my lips. “....I don’t remember.”

Hanji sighed, “My place it is then.”

“You smell nice,” I gave her a dizzy smile. 

“I fucking hate my life.” I drunkenly shouted, it sounded like I was half asleep. I started ranting about everything I hated while Hanji listened and walked. Damn, she’s pretty strong, how could she manage to carry me? My voice lowered, “You know, I actually was gonna go to music school. Wanted to study jazz, guess that didn’t turn out very well.” I frowned, sighing. I quickly changed my mood though, I hated people seeing me sad. I changed myself to a grin as I hugged her by the neck, “Now, tell me about you!”

Hanji cleared her throat, “Honestly, I’m just going through each day. The young spark in me died, I guess.” She tried to sound somewhat cheerful, but you could tell that there was emptiness behind her voice. “I wanted to be a scientist, do cool shit and stuff, guess that didn’t work out very well either.” She laughed at herself, somehow finding comedy in her own pity. “Life doesn’t ever work out the way we want to and all we can do is take it and try to make something out of it.”

She looked back at me from her shoulder, noticing that I stopped talking. She softly smiled, seeing me at peace and dozing off on her shoulder. “Damn, what am I doing, carrying some drunk stranger home.” She mumbled to herself.

-

Hanji let out a large breath of relief as she threw me on her bed, finally feeling the pressure off her shoulders. Her small studio apartment consisted of a small kitchen, a small couch that could fit around two people, her bed, and other essentials an apartment would have. She did seem to love her plants, they were scattered everywhere around her apartment. Hanji adjusted her glasses before deciding whether or not she should have me sleep on her bed or her couch. “She looks so peaceful” She whispered to herself, seeing me lay on top of her bed, clutching onto the sheets with my hands. Hanji made up her mind that she shouldn’t bother me and decided to unwind for the night and wash up.

-

I woke the next day, my vision was blurred and all I felt was my aching head screaming at me. Gotta love hangovers. I looked around me for a moment, not recognizing my surroundings, realizing that I was in an unfamiliar room. The realization suddenly hit me, work. Shit, work, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m so probably so fucking late. Holy shit what was I thinking? I frantically looked around the room for my phone, not being able to find it. “Shit, shit, shit, shit,” I panicked. My eyes suddenly spotted my phone, laying on the nightstand being charged. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw that it was Sunday. Great, I have no work. That’s one problem down, but I still don’t know where the fuck I am. I’m in the home of a stranger that I do not recognize. What the fuck is happening? Did I fuck someone, did I?

Small parts of the memories of last night started coming to me in bits and pieces. I cringed as I realized what kind of situation I got myself into. I remembered my stupid ass fall, god, that shit is embarrassing. I looked out the window. This street seems familiar, I stared down onto the street. I’m estimating that we were probably on floor 5 or 6. I took my phone and started heading out the door, better to leave now. I can’t face her, this is so embarrassing.

As I walked out of her apartment complex the familiarity started getting concerning, that was until I went out of the building and onto the street and realized. I went back inside of the building, practically doing a U turn, and went back in the elevator to go into my apartment. Damn, this is the same building I live in. I lived on floor 4, one floor below hers. What the fuck?

-

I plopped myself down on my bed. Damn, I should’ve waited to thank her. Maybe I should’ve gotten her number or something. They live in the same building of me so I guess I could thank them another time. I placed my hand on my forehead, attempting to massage my aching hangover away, “Fuck.” I headed to my bathroom to wash up and take an overdue shower.

-

I spent all day cleaning my house and just doing chores that I put off for the week, it was already night. I didn’t even notice the sun set. I fucking hate my life, working everyday and the one day I get off I’m busy doing other shit. 

I opened my window, the night time summer breeze cooled me down as it traveled through my window and brushed up against my cheeks. I leaned my arms on the ledge of the window as I leaned my face to get a better feel of the breeze. The sky was dark, no stars or moon to be seen. Cars from below would pass by on the road. Street lights dimly lit up the street. The occasional police sirens would blare, but I already got used to that months ago. 

I heard a soft whistle from outside, the melody sweet. The tune sounded familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. 

“What song is that?” I asked the unknown person whistling the tune because why not? I’m so fucking lonely. 

The whistling stopped. It went silent, just the sound of cars passing by on the street below and the sound of wind. I started getting embarrassed from even talking in the first place. They probably think I’m weird now, damn this is so embarrassing.

“Si Tu Vois Ma Mère,” They answered, their voice was gentle and soft.

I immediately recognized the name. I felt a relief that they actually answered me, my embarrassment calming. Damn, why do I get embarrassed by everything I do? “I like that song a lot, haven’t heard it in a long time.” I lightly tapped my fingers against my window sill. 

They let out a small smile, “What’s your name? I’m Hanji.”

“Y/n,” I felt a sense of familiarity in that name, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

Their eyes widened, “Wait, y/n?” 

“Hanji?” I finally remembered who the name belonged to. What is my luck? She lives right above me. 

Hanji giggled, “I was wondering where you went.”

“Sorry about that, thank you so much for putting up with me, I never got to thank you.” I grinned as I leaned my head against the side of the window.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s all good.”

“So...you live above me. Who could’ve thought.” Part of me felt so happy and overjoyed over the fact that I had someone to talk to. I’ve been so lonely, it’s nice to have someone to talk to. “You mind if I go up there?” I stuck my head out of my window.

Though she wasn’t entirely sure what I meant, she agreed anyways, “I mean, sure.”

Excitedly, I stuck one foot out of my window at a time and used the fire exit to climb up to her apartment window. When I got to Hanji's window I saw that she was already sitting on the platform of the fire escape outside her window. She was wearing a black tank top and a pair of shorts with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. I sat down next to her, hugging my knees while Hanji had her legs laid out straight while leaning on the wall. 

“You mind if I smoke?” Hanji asked me as she leaned back into her window and grabbed a blunt and lighter.

“I don’t mind,” I looked back at her then back at the street below. 

A black cat walked out of Hanji’s window as she lit up the blunt. She took a quick hit before grinning and embracing the cat into her arms. “Want some?” She turned to me and put her blunt out for me to grab, her other arm occupied with the cat. 

“Sure,” I took the blunt and took a hit as I watched her play with her cat. “I’m not annoying you, am I?” I suddenly felt like I was intruding in.

She smiled at me as she pet her cat, “No, no, not at all. I’ve been actually feeling pretty lonely these days.” 

Her smile was so sweet, so warm. I love seeing it on her face. Her smiling made me feel like smiling, something I don’t do much of these days. “I guess we both need each other's company.”

Hanji nodded in agreement. “Want to hold them?” She offered me to hold her cat. Her eyes were so bright, but at the same time, it felt like there was something more sad behind the grin. Her eyes twinkled, but it seemed like they were hidden behind them. 

“I’m not that much of an animal person,” I dismissed her offering.

Her eyes widened, “You don’t like cats?!”

“No, no, I just prefer admiring them from afar.”

“Well, you haven’t been graced with the blessing of this baby.” She handed me her cat anyways. She took the blunt to help free my hands so I could pet the furry creature. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, I haven’t held a cat in years. My hands were uncomfortably out against my chest. Hanji giggled seeing my awkward demeanor in reply to some cat in my hands, “Just pet them, they’re very nice.”  I awkwardly lowered my hands to touch the cat’s fur on their back. I softly smiled, feeling their soft fur. Hanji smiled, seeing me interact with the cat.

She took a hit of the blunt, before looking out onto the street below us. “You ever think about leaving here?” 

I turned to her, looking up from the black cat. “The city?”

“Yeah, there’s so many people here, but it feels so fucking lonely.” She sighed.

“All the time,” I leaned my back against the wall like Hanji, “Where would you go to?”

“I don’t know, maybe move to a small beach town, maybe go to Europe, anywhere but here.” She adjusted her glasses, though she was looking at the street down below, it seemed as though she was just looking at something else, staring off into nothingness. Her face was distant and blank. “God, I fucking hate my life.” She mumbled under her breath.

“Alienation, you feel alienated.” I knew this feeling all too well myself.

Hanji detached herself from her short trance, going back to reality, awkwardly chuckling, “Yeah.” The soft summer breeze blew against her face, making her hair flow. It was so cute how she adjusted the small stray strands of hair away from her face and off the side. I usually didn’t notice small things like that on a person, but now that I do, it makes me feel warm.

“I’m so young, but it already feels like my life is coming towards its end. I’m so tired already.” Hanji knew exactly how I felt.

There was now a moment of silence as we silently enjoyed each other's company as we sat on the fire exit right outside her apartment window. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a silence of peace where we felt comfort. The calming sound of cars passing by, the sound of breezing summer wind, and just her being next to me filled in that hole of loneliness that I always struggled with. I haven’t felt this type of comfort in so long.

“You mind if I come over here more often sometime?” I finally spoke after a couple minutes of our mutual stillness.

Hanji softly smiled, she smiled like she was meeting with an old friend or having a sense of nostalgia hit her. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” She turned to me.

I got up from my sitting position and started heading down the ladder to my apartment below. With my head still sticking out from the ladder going down, I turned to her, still seeing her sit in the same position smoking her blunt. “Good night.” I smiled at her before leaving and returning back to my apartment.

"Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAT MOM HANNNJIIIIII


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for all the kudos, hits, and comments, I really appreciate it. I didn't expect so many people to read this, but it really made me happy seeing some of you guys enjoy my story ^-^

It was Thursday, this week was trash, probably one of my worst weeks. I got fired, company had to let go of employees...

I stood at the front door of the building of my apartment. I stood still, I didn’t reach my hand out to grab the handle and come inside, I just stayed outside and stared at the door. I turned around, I wanted to go for a walk, to try to clear my mind, try to distract myself from the fact that I’m now jobless. I pinched my nose, trying to come up with a plan of what I was going to do with myself now that I don’t have a source of income. There was a bar near my apartment, a couple buildings down, I went there. Might as well try to distract myself from this shit. I wanna get shitfaced drunk, then I can forget everything for a couple moments. 

-

“One more!” I screamed at the bartender who was already tired of my shit. I’ve been here for 2 hours and ranting and crying my feelings out to them. I thought being drunk would make me forget the pain I was feeling, but I guess I was wrong.

They hesitantly passed me a bottle of beer to which I snatched out of their hands before they could even place it on the bar table. I took a large gulp of the alcohol before slamming my head on the table, giving me some weird looks from other customers.    
  
“Can you please quiet down?” The bartender asked me as they wiped down a couple of glasses with a cloth.

“SHUT UP!” I shouted before slowly starting to break down into a sob. “KILLLL MEEEE!” I repeatedly banged my head against the table. “YOU!” I drunkenly pointed my finger at some random customer beside me. It seemed that they were trying to avoid me, purposefully sitting a couple seats away from me. “You know what happened? I lost my fucking job.” I started crying again. The customer looked scared as they stared at my pathetic and messed up state, they slowly and carefully scooted another seat away from me.

-

It was an hour later, I’ve now been here for over 3 hours. I quieted down, now resolving to silent sobbing. 

“You okay?” A random guy, most likely one of the other customers, asked me, sitting right next to me. 

I didn’t answer, my head was buried in my arms, my face planted against the table. I ignored him. “Buy me another drink and I’ll be happy.” I still didn’t show my face, I just pushed my empty bottle of beer to him. 

“Can we have one more?” He held the bottle up as he asked the bartender. The bartender rolled their eyes and then grabbed another bottle and handed it to him. He slid the bottle next to my arms, “Here.”   


I slowly looked up from my arms. “Thanks,” I murmured, as I took a sip. 

-

He tried to make a conversation with me, but all I did was drink and give shallow, short answers. “How about you come to my place?” He spoke in a tone that was more of a statement than a question. 

I don’t know what was going through my mind, but all I knew was that I wanted this guy away from me, it was probably the alcohol, making me make such a rash decision. I took the nearest glass that was on the table and spilled it on the dude, still not saying anything. I couldn’t help, but laugh at his face when it got drenched in whatever drink the glass was carrying. I sat up from the barstool and started to head out the bar. 

“What the fuck!” I could hear the man scream from behind me. I kept on walking, opening the door of the bar to walk out, stumbling on some of my steps because of the liquor I consumed. I had a dizzy smile on my face, happy with his reaction. “Get over here you little bitch!” He gripped onto my shoulders, forcing me to turn to him.

The dizzy smile was still on me when my face was forced to meet his. I chuckled seeing his angered expression, seeing my reaction to him infuriated him even more. He lifted his hand to slap me. I flinched, squinting my eyes closed to prepare myself for the slap. I waited for a couple seconds for the impact, but I didn’t feel anything. I slowly opened one of my eyes, seeing someone hold his hand back, it was Hanji.

“Who do you think you are?!” He tugged his arm out of Hanji’s grip. He shifted his attention away from me and towards Hanji.

Hanji chuckled, “And who do you think you are?”

“This is none of your business.” The man pushed Hanji back by the shoulders.

Hanji mocked him, “You really wanna fight right now?” She shoved him back, her push noticeably stronger than his. I was just standing there, watching everything unfold. The man retaliated, aiming his fist at Hanji, but Hanji blocked his knuckles with her hand then gave him a swift punch. Hanji adjusted her glasses, “Who raised you?” She gave him one more punch then took my hand and we started heading out the bar.

“Miss, you need to pay.” The bartender shouted, trying to catch us before we left the bar.

Hanji rolled her eyes, before they could answer with the amount owed. Hanji just threw about $40 onto the table and headed out, dragging me with her. “What the fuck were you thinking?” Hanji was losing her temper. She was trying her hardest not to yell the shit out of me as she angrily walked away from the bar, her grip on my hand was tight.

I giggled, my drunken voice wobbly, “Hanji!”

Hanji was so over with me, “Y/n, what were you fucking thinking?” She was tense, angry that I would even put myself in a situation like that. "Why would you possibly think that was a good idea, you could've gotten hurt." She turned back to me, stopping her walking. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!” She shouted.

She immediately felt guilty, seeing my face. She turned away from me, not wanting me to see her so angry. She took a deep breath, letting go of my hand, and taking off her glasses to try to relax herself. “I’m sorry,” She mumbled, feeling bad for raising her voice at me. She took another deep breath to calm herself down and put her glasses back on. She turned back to me, now having better control over herself and her emotions. She sighed, “Are you okay?” She looked into my eyes, seeing my tears threaten to fall. “Y/n...I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.” She stuttered, panicking at the fact that she might’ve made me cry. 

I chuckled at how pitiful I was, “It’s not your fault.” I wiped a tear with the back of my hand. I chuckled again. My voice cracked as I confessed to her, “...I lost my job.” Another tear fell. I wish this alcohol worked, why am I not forgetting my problems.

“Y/n-” Hanji suddenly embraced me into a hug. 

I didn’t know how to react when she put her arms around me, my arms just stayed down to my side. I haven’t felt this feeling in so long, it felt so nice to be held. My face was in a moment of shock as another tear fell down my face. Someone is hugging me. I slowly lifted my hands, putting my arms around her. I felt her clutch onto me tighter, making yet another tear drip down my cheek. 

“Hanji,” I smiled as I muttered her name before breaking down into sobs. I dug my face into her shoulder as I cried, hugging her even tighter.

She put her hand on the back of my head, patting and stroking it to comfort me. My legs felt too weak to stand. I almost fell over, but Hanji managed to catch me before I could fall. She slowly sat down, her hands carrying me from under my shoulders. She sat down on the ground as I cried on her shoulder. We were both now sitting on a sidewalk, one person crying and the other comforting that person. It was probably almost midnight by now. You could hear cars passing by on the street and the sound of wind blowing.   
  
“Don’t worry y/n, I’m here, I’ll help you.” Hanji whispered into my ear, comforting me, “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’ll be just fine.” She pushed me away for a moment to see my eyes, her hands on my shoulders. 

I looked down at the ground, too embarrassed of how much I was crying to even look at her straight. 

Hanji softly smiled, looking into my eyes. She wiped a tear off my face with her thumb. I looked back at her when I felt her touch on my cheeks, I saw her sweet smile, her smile melted my heart. A tear slowly streamed down my cheek, I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve Hanji. Hanji made the aching pain inside my chest a little bit more bearable.

“Hanji, thank you. I don’t deserve you.” My head fell on her shoulder.

She seemed a bit shocked by my phrase. She stood there frozen for a couple moments, as I wrapped my arms around her. Her blank face slowly returned back to her sweet smile. She never realized that people actually appreciated her, she thought that everyone forgot about her, that she was insignificant. She couldn’t tell if it was me that made her heart flutter right then and there or it was my words that made her heart leap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGGGGGGGGGG T^T


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter lol, but don't worry I'm gonna post another one pretty soon
> 
> expect another update in a day or two :)

“Hanji you okay?” I noticed Hanji staring into nothing and spacing off. 

We were outside her window again, sitting on the fire escape. Of course we were out here at night as usual, something to get our minds off of the stress of life. It was late, like late late, 2 am to be exact. I guess both of us couldn’t sleep.

“Hm?” Hanji snapped out of her own little world. “Oh..yeah...I’m fine.” She lied, her chin rested on her knees while her legs were being wrapped around her arms.

I could tell something was wrong. “I may be a fucking idiot, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that.” I joked.

Hanji chuckled as she shook her head, “And you’re not wrong.” 

A moment of silence fell between us. Hanji stared off into the distance as I watched her do so. 

“I usually don’t do this late at night, but fuck it.” Hanji murmured to herself as she reached her hand into her window and grabbed her small box of cigarettes and a lighter. She took out the box of cigarettes, opening it with one hand. “Fuck,” She mumbled, her eye landing on an empty box. She threw the empty paper box and lighter back back into her apartment through her window, the lighter making a sound when hitting the floor.

The awkward silence came back. This time, Hanji was a bit more upset, upset over the fact that she didn’t have any to smoke on to get her mind off her problems.

“So...you have any hobbies?” I asked her, trying to get her mind off of whatever stressed her.

“I have my plants,” She softly smiled at the mention of plants. “Should I bring one out?” Though her eyes seemed kind of sad, they seemed to be cheering up by the second.

“Yeah,” A small smile appeared on my lips too, seeing her face slowly lighten up made me happy. Even though it was just a soft smile, I really liked seeing that smile on her lips.

Hanji happily and ungracefully rushed inside her window, quickly grabbing her favorite plant. She carefully held the pot in her hands as she went back outside her window. S he grinned as she sat down next to me, the plant placed between both hands as she admired it. By now, her mood seemed to have completely changed. “This was the first kind of plant I got when I started off. My first one died after like a week,” Hanji laughed. “But anyways, I always loved this baby. It’s a pothos plant or some would say Devil’s Ivy.”

She looked like a child talking about Christmas when she started talking about her plant, it was....cute. “Can I hold it?” I asked.

“Of course!” She handed me the plant. “I named them, Sawney.” Her eyes widened, a huge grin appearing on her face. “Let me get another one!” She jumped up, running back into her apartment and out, almost tripp ing on the way there as she grabbed a second plant. 

“And this darling is Bean!” She shouted as her head peaked out the window. She climbed over the window like she was some kid on a playground. Being so excited, she almost tipped her plant over and spilled all its guts. She screamed as she lost balance of the pot, but quickly regained control of the object. 

I giggled, “You’re gonna wake up all the neighbors.”

“Fuck my neighbors,” Hanji laughed as she ran to sit down next to me. The plant was tightly gripped between both her hands for extra security. “Okay, okay, this one’s a rubber fig.” She tapped her pointer finger on the pot as she talked about it. “You could also call it a ficus elastica. It was also one of my starter plants, but I love it so much! OOOO, I was also thinking about growing lavender, but I’ve been too lazy lately. I can do so much with lavender  _ and  _ it’s pretty. I was also thinking about growing potatoes in a jar because why not! Bean and Sawney will always be my pride though, I will never forget you!” She kissed the pot of Bean’s plant.

I giggled at her excited manor, her mood changed so quickly. “Can I hold this one too?”

“ _ Duhh _ !” She took the plant I was holding and traded it for Bean. 

I admired the plant in my hands. It looks like she takes good care of her plants.

Hanji had a wide grin on her as she watched me observe the rubber fig. “I didn’t think you would be interested, usually no one cares.” She chuckled, “People usually just get annoyed with me rambling on and on about these darlings.”

“How would I get annoyed with this beauty!” I held the plant up like it was a god.

Hanji giggled, happy seeing that someone was enjoying her interests too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLANT MOM HAAANNNNJIIIIII


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :D

I climbed up on the fire escape platform in front of my window, already seeing her sitting there. A grin appeared on her face as soon as she saw me peak out of the ladder. The vanilla creme color of the streetlights and the light coming from the window inside her apartment were the only things lighting up our dark surroundings. Last time we spoke was a week ago. We couldn’t talk much since we’ve both been so busy lately.

Her face lit up as soon as she saw me. “You know, I was thinking about getting a gecko.” Hanji chuckled as I sat down next to her with her eyes kept on me. 

I chuckled, “A gecko, huh.” I leaned my head against the wall.

“Yeah,” She grinned, “They’re so cuuute, but I already have my cat and my precious plants so I don’t know...” She casually rested her head on my shoulder.

My heart skipped a beat when I felt her touch on my shoulder, casually resting on it. Her eyes were glistening as she talked about her love for animals. I was never really an animal person, but hearing her talk about them made me want to become an animal person. I put my hand to my chest, feeling my heartbeat. I could feel my heart thump, thump so rapidly. I was starting to turn red, something so small like just her resting her head on my shoulder made my heartbeat pound out of my chest and my face red like a strawberry.

“I was also thinking about getting more plants, they’re all my little babies.” Her eyes squinted as she smiled and her cheeks plumped up. 

I softly smiled, listening to her talk about things that she liked made me calm, I wish I could see her happy like this more often. “You know, I was wondering. I never got to ask you this, but the day at the bar, you know the one with that jerk. Were you there the whole time?”

Hanji chuckled, “I went there to meet up with an old friend, 2 minutes later I noticed you and that son of a bitch. As soon as I saw him follow behind you I ran to you.” Hanji adjusted her glasses, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. “It was pure luck and coincidence.”

The smile of Hanji’s face started disappearing, she realized something. “Fuck, I just remembered I have to go to the dry cleaners for my suit for that stupid fucking event on Saturday.” Her face scrunched up. A palm covered her forehead as she remembered one of the tasks she was supposed to do today. “Maybe they’re still open,” Her words suddenly became sped up, most likely from the stress slowly climbing up.

She lifted her head off my shoulder to go back inside and to try to have a last attempt of heading to the dry cleaners in the hopes that it wasn’t closed yet, but before she could get up I lightly pushed her head back down on my shoulder. “ _ Relax _ ,” I chuckled. 

Her brief state of panic started calming down as she started to relax herself back again on my shoulder.   
  
“You can borrow one of mine, the dry cleaners will probably be closed by now.” I looked up at the late night sky above us.

I could feel her tension start to ease back. “Y/n, I’ve been talking all about me this whole time, tell me more about you.” She shifted her eyes up at me, her head still relaxed on my shoulder.

I was slightly taken aback by her request, “Me?”

“No, someone else,” She threw some sarcasm at me, “Of course you!”

I chuckled. “I don’t know, I’m kind of a boring person.” I scratched my nose.

“Tell me about your childhood then.” Hanji suggested.

“Well….let me think...my teenage years weren’t that great. I was pretty lonely.” I chuckled at my pathetic self, “But that’s nothing new. I guess I’ve been pretty used to loneliness all my life. I started off by just preferring to be alone than with others, but I think it got to the point where I suddenly realized I needed someone next to me and when I looked back, everyone was already gone. I cut myself off from everyone, not realizing I didn't know what I was doing.”

“So I’m guessing the feeling of loneliness is all too familiar with you.” She furrowed her eyebrows, paying close attention to every word coming out of my mouth. It felt nice to have someone care about me, to have someone be interested enough to listen to me. 

“Yup!” I clarified in a cheerful tone for the fun of sarcasm.

Hanji chuckled at my out of placed cheerfulness. “This whole loneliness thing is a new concept for me, well, sort of new, been at this for a couple years now.” She tried to laugh off her confession, attempting to lighten up the gradually saddening mood. “I used to be that kid that was happy for no reason at all. I was the dinosaur and fossils type of kid. I try to go back to the way things were back then, the happiness I had as a kid, as a teenager...but I guess grew up. Things like happiness are hard to come by these days.” As she spoke more and more the ‘joy’ in her voice slowly died.

-

“It’s getting late. How long have we even been out here for?” I realized I’ve been talking and talking for a long time now. I didn’t hear an answer, so I looked down to my shoulder, seeing Hanji asleep. They're probably so tired. I smiled at their adorable sleeping expression, they seemed so at ease. I didn’t want to move, I can’t wake them up. They looked like they were so at peace with themself. I tilted my head to the side, resting my head on theirs. I’ll close my eyes for a moment.

-

Hanji blinked her eyes a couple times to wake herself up, her vision unbiurring. “Y/n?” She mumbled as she sat up straight, looking around, forgetting where she was for a couple moments.

I jumped up from the sound of her voice and her sudden movement. My eyes shifted around, also oblivious of my surroundings for a couple seconds. “Oh, Hanji,” I smiled seeing their face next to mine.

“Did I fall asleep? I am so sorry,” Her eyes widened.

I grinned, “It’s fine, I liked seeing you sleep...okay...not like that….like…” I stuttered, my face turned red. Shit, shit, shit, oh my fucking god. Am I stupid? What the fuck did I just say?

Hanji giggled, seeing me become so flustered and my slowly reddening face.

Still embarrassed, my words kept on stumbling over each other, stuttering. “Well...I should go now….it’s-it’s really late...yup!” I quickly scurried up.

"Y/n," Hanji grabbed onto my wrist before I could leave. My breath hitched. I turned my head back, looking down at her, seeing her holding onto my wrist.  “How about you stay the night?” Hanji softly smiled, looking up at me. “You know...like a sleepover or something....you know I never had one as a kid, parents were too strict about it.”

“....same.” I was so happy that I didn’t know what to say, her invitation caught me off guard. I did not expect that

“So is that a yes?” She seemed like she was starting to worry about me saying no, she’d be so embarrassed if I said no, but of course I was going to say yes.

“Of course,” I grinned.   


Her eyes lit up as she got up. “Come in!” One leg at a time, she climbed into her apartment through her window. 

I followed her through her window and into her place. Last time I was here she brought my drunk ass home. I noticed a lot more details about her apartment this time, probably because this time I didn’t have a fucking hangover smashing my head. It was a cute place she had, lots of plants as expected.  Hanji jumped on her bed, face first. She giggled as she turned around to her back. I followed her sitting down on her bed next to her. Hanji grabbed onto my shoulders, making me fall on my back on the bed. 

“I’ve never done anything like this,” Hanji giggled, she was happy to be spending the night with someone.

“Me neither,” A small smile placed itself on my lips, turning my head up to her. 

“Now what do we do? What do people do at sleepovers?” Hanji plopped down her back on the bed again.

“Don’t ask me, never did this shit either.” I giggled, “Sleep maybe?”

“Oh come on y/n, it’s only 12 am!” Hanji protested the fact of sleeping, she was way too energized to even bat an eye closed, undermining the fact that she fell asleep earlier.

“Okay, okay, let me think…” I tried to come up with a couple ideas from the top of my head. “How about I do your makeup? People do that shit right?” I blurted out the first idea that popped in my brain.

Hanji grinned, “Yeah, we can do that! I might have some makeup stuff in my bathroom let me see.” She hopped off the bed and quickly ran to the bathroom to get a couple items.

I couldn’t help, but smile like an idiot. The way that she was so excited and the way that she smiled and looked at me with that stupid grin on her face. Hanji ran back on the bed with a bag of makeup items, throwing me the bag to catch before jumping back onto the bed. 

I caught the bag, unzipping it and taking a quick peek of what was inside. “Okay, lay on your back,” I turned back to her, seeing her roll over and onto her back from her stomach. “You mind if I get on top of you for a moment?”

Hanji's face quickly became red, blushing. “Oh, okay,” She stuttered. She pursed her lips against each other, trying to hide her massive smile.

I got on top of her, my legs straddling around her waist. “Sorry if it’s shitty,” I giggled as I took out a compact eye shadow palette and a small makeup brush out of the makeup bag.

Hanji chuckled, “It’s okay.”

I slowly lowered my face closer to hers, gently taking off her glasses to reveal her beautiful brown eyes. I gazed into Hanji’s elegant eyes as they laid below mine. I had a good look at her stunning features, she was so beautiful. Her nose, her cheeks, her lips, her eyes, everything about her was so sweet. There were a couple silent seconds of us staring into each others faces, we could feel the breaths of one another against our skin. We were so close, our faces were inches apart from each other. There was this tension for a moment, not an angry tension or anything, it was something different. I don’t know how to describe it, but there was this  _ feeling _ between us.

I broke eye contact first, grabbing the brush and palette and dabbing a dark brown color on the brush. I went back to her face, focusing on one of her eyes as I lightly dabbed the pigment onto her eyelid. I couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, noticing her be so tense yet happy at the same time. “You sure you’re okay with this right?’

“Yup!” She answered almost immediately.

“Where’s your cat?” I asked her as I switched to the other eye.    
  
“They’re in the bathroom, they love sleeping under the sink for some reason.” Hanji tried her best not to move her face around that much.

Too lazy to properly get another brush, I wiped the brush against my fingertips and dabbed at black from the eyeshadow palette. “You know, I never got to ask you what the name of your cat was.”

Hanji chuckled, “I stressed about naming them for the first couple months I had them and just called them cat. Two years later and still can’t decide on a name so now I just call them Cat...because they’re a cat.”

I giggled, “Smart.”

Her eyes kept still on mine, focused on them as I did her makeup.

-

“Done!” I smiled as she stuffed all the makeup items and products back in Hanji’s small makeup bag. I got off of her, handing her my phone to use as a mirror shortly after.

“I love it!” Hanji excitedly shouted as she admired my work on the phone.

“Thanks,” It made me happy seeing her so excited and thrilled.

“Should I wipe it now?” Hanji asked after she admired it for about a minute or two. She went to get a makeup wipe out of the bag, but I beat her too it, taking the bag before her.

“Let me do it,” I grinned as I scooted closer to her. 

Hanji seemed caught off guard for a moment, but quickly became comfortable relaxed as I wiped off the makeup with a wipe. With her arms supporting her from behind, she leaned back so I could have a better angle wiping the makeup on. I scooted closer to her to get the last bits of makeup off. I didn’t realize how close we were to each other until I felt her breath hit my chin.

-

“You sleep with a night light?” I chuckled as she turned on her bedside lamp to light up the pitch black room.

She giggled as she took off her glasses, “What’s wrong with that?” She hopped back in her bed next to me.

“Nothing,” I giggled as I turned to my side, facing her. 

We both laid on our backs, staring at the ceiling. There were a couple moments of silence, both of us trying to sleep, but just not being able to.

“You asleep yet?” I asked her, turning my head to her to have a small glimpse and see if she already dozed off.

Hanji opened her eyes, “Nope.” She glanced at me then back at the ceiling above us, “It’s probably like 2 am or 3 am by now.”

“You mind if I ask why you couldn't sleep earlier?” I adjusted the blanket off of my chest, hot because it was still the summer.

“The usual, loneliness, stress, and the fact that I hate my life and existence.” Hanji laughed, hearing herself admit those words. “You?”

I chuckled, “Literally the exact same.”

“Y/n, you ever feel...insignificant?” Hanji turned her head to get a glimpse of my face before looking back at the ceiling again. 

“Insignificant, so that’s the word.” I laughed. “Yeah, feel like you’re forgotten and no one could give a shit about you, that you could literally be dying and no one would even bat an eye out for you.”

Hanji giggled, “Exactly that. You know, back in school there was always something to look forward to, summer break, graduation, now you’re just going through days without an end...” 

“How the fuck you take care of so many plants, you probably have at least 30 in here.” I chuckled.

“Close, actually 35.” She corrected me.

“I could never do that, I’d probably forget about them and they’d all slowly die.”

“You won’t if I show you.” Hanji smirked.

“Deal,” I grinned.

-

She turned her whole body to the side, facing me also, smiling. “You tired?” She whispered. It’s probably past well past 3 am by now.

“Yeah,” I whispered back, turning my body to the side also to face her, the side of my head resting on one of her pillows. Our faces were less than six inches away from each other.

“Me too.” Her voice was so tender and soft, it was so addicting.

I delicately stroked her soft hair, making her softly smile. I mumbled, “Good night.”

~

I’m so used to being lonely. It’s weird having someone next to me, nevertheless Hanji’s company made me feel sane. Unlike every night before I met them, I don’t feel like jumping off a cliff. I feel like existence isn’t a lost cause when I'm with them. I feel like I actually have something to look towards everyday. You know how in high school when you would choose someone random to have a “crush” on, but really you just needed something to distract you from the fact that you fucking hated school. Even though you knew deep down inside you don’t  _ actually  _ like them, you chase after their approval and affection anyways just to keep yourself entertained. You would secretly dress up nice for them and pay extra attention to their small habits. You make them your only reason to go to school. This is what Hanji is like for me, except I know Hanji is just a friend...I think...and that they are not just some ‘random person’. But that’s besides the point, my point is that Hanji gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. I finally have something...no...someone, to look forward to seeing everyday.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl, I screamed while I wrote the makeup scene because that shit is so cute haha


	5. Part 5 (nsfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter haha

I slammed my body on my bed as soon as I returned back to my apartment, just completed the first day of my new job. For my first day, they made me stay fucking late. The last two weeks of job hunting and interviews and shit were horrible. Hanji helped me with last months my rent, I was about a hundred dollars short, I swore I would pay her back though. She’s such an amazing person, I really don’t deserve her. I debated with myself for a couple moments, I couldn’t choose between falling asleep right now, right in this position, or take a shower and unwind like a normal human being. I was about to fall asleep when I suddenly got a text on my phone, seeing my phone screen light up on my bed a couple inches away from my face. I hesitated to pick it up for a couple moments, but dragged my hand over to check on it.

With my eyes feeling droopy, my eyes read over the text, “You mind coming over rn? It’s fine if you don’t though lol.”

My eyes opened as I read Hanji’s name above the text, suddenly I felt awake. I got Hanji’s number after the night I stayed at her place. My phone almost fell out of my hands as I rushed to text her back. “Yeah, I totally can. Let me do a couple things first.” I decided to use my new and sudden burst of energy to at least try to function as a normal human.

-

As soon as I finished blow drying my hair, I grabbed my phone and climbed out of my window then up the fire escape ladder to Hanji’s place. I could barely make out what was in front of me, but the light coming from our apartment windows helped. When I made it up to her window, I noticed she wasn’t sitting on the platform like she usually was, but her window was open, her lights were a bit more dim than usual. I felt something small rubbed against my feet, which made me jump, but I quickly relaxed seeing that it was just Hanji’s cat.

“Y/n!” Hearing me jump, Hanji leaned to the side so her head would peak out the window. “Come in!”

I climbed in through her window.

When I walked in I saw Hanji laying on her bed. Only her bedside lamp and her floor lamp next to her small couch were on, so the room was pretty dim, but you could still see where everything was. She softly smiled as she saw me. Her head was hanging on the edge of the bed, glasses off and hair down. “You mind passing me that box and light over there.” She pointed at the small table next to her couch. “I didn’t feel like sitting outside, but I’m sad, so I wanted to see you. You’re okay with it though right?”

“Yeah,” I threw her the box of cigarettes and lighter. I jumped on the bed shortly after and mimicked the way she was laying down. Even though my head was hanging off the side of the bed, the position was weirdly comfortable “You lay down like this a lot?” I giggled, turning to Hanji, her face less than 6 inches away from mine.

“I feel like the blood rushes up to my head and I can think better.” Hanji chuckled as she put a cigarette between her lips and lit it with her lighter, then tossed the box and lighter to the floor.  
  
“Interesting,” I looked up at the ceiling. 

“You want some?” Hanji held the cigarette to me, turning to me.

“Sure,” I took the cigarette from her hands and placed it between my lips. I coughed a bit after inhaling in the smoke, my lungs unfamiliar with the feeling. 

Hanji got worried for a moment, but quickly realized it was just my lungs not used to the drug. We both chuckled a bit after my cough died down. I put the cigarette in between my lips and inhaled it in again, this time more successful. I passed the cigarette back to Hanji where she slowly breathed it in then out. The room was silent, just us laying on the bed, our head dangling from the edge of the bed, and pumping our lungs full of nicotine. 

“The landlord won’t kill us for doing this shit right?” I broke the long silence, but my voice was very soft, close to a whisper but not quite. 

The smoke she exhaled out of her mouth rose up. “Doing this shit for a year now, they haven’t caught me so I’m good.” Hanji chuckled as she passed me back the cigarette since we were going back and forth. “I usually do it outside, but I’m lazy today. It’s also gonna be a fucking pain to get rid of the smell tomorrow, but right now I could give less of a shit.”

“You ever fell off the bed laying like this?” I giggled.

Hanji laughed, “Duh, the amount of times I’ve hit my head against the floor.”

We slowly went back into a comfortable silence. The quietness of us passing the cigarette between each other and taking turns smoking it. You could hear the sounds of the outside summer winds entering the dimly lit apartment through her open window. Occasionally, you could hear the sound of police sirens, but we’ve both gotten so used to those blaring sounds we kind of just blur the sound out.

I suddenly felt a soft hand touch my thigh, I slowly looked over at Hanji, taking my lips off the cigarette. I noticed that her eyes were full of...lust.

“Can I?” Her voice whispered to me.  
  
I bit my lip, desire slowly filling my chest by the second. I slowly nodded to her. 

I felt her soft hand slowly and sensually kneading at my skin. Over time her grip on my thigh became more rough, more selfish, I could feel her fingers reach closer in between my thighs. My breathing became more heavy, feeling her touch and her being so close to me gave me butterflies.

Hanji took the cigarette out of my hands with her other free hand, the one not gripping my thigh. She inhaled the drug and then put it to my lips, holding it in her fingers for me to smoke. I slightly lifted my head to reach the cigarette, inhaling the nicotine then dropped my head back down to exhale it. She turned her body to grind the cigarette against her ashtray she had on her bedside table then quickly turned back to me. She went back to hanging her head on the edge of the bed, laying down. 

Hanji’s tender hands returned back to my thigh, but this time her lips lingered in front of mine, not daring to go closer. While one hand was on my thigh she used her other hand to gently grip on my jaw to turn my face to face hers. We were so close to each other, our shoulders brushed up against each other. I looked at her eyes then to her lips then back at her eyes, a light smirk appearing on my lips. 

I inched my face just a small bit closer to hers. “You’re so fucking hot right now.” I breathed out, my whispers hitting her lips. Our faces were so close to each other. I could feel her breath against my lips and she could feel my breath against hers.

“Fuck,” Hanji murmured before closing the gap between our lips and placing hers on mine. Hanji used her grip on my jaw to pull my lips closer. It was like our lips were grinding on each other. I clutched onto the collar of her shirt, wanting to get closer to her lips also. I couldn’t help, but to close my eyes and savor this feeling, the feeling of her kiss, the feeling of her lips on mine. 

“You’re so fucking hot.” She whispered as she parted her lips away from mine for a moment to catch her breath, my eyes opening to see her lustful eyes when I felt the absence of her lips from mine. Hanji’s lips connected to mine again, this one more passionate and wanting. 

I felt her hand that was on my thigh start to move again, this time going even closer to the spot between my thighs. I smirked against her lips, feeling her hand dip into my shorts and under my panties. My breath hitched feeling her hand against it. Our lips were still devouring each other, tasting the lips of one another. None of us said anything, the room was silent besides the sound of heavy breathing and hungry kisses. Both of our heads were empty, now filled with the drug of lust, desire, and each other. We both couldn’t think of anything besides our addiction to the others lips and our bodies.

I slipped my other hand under Hanji’s shirt, feeling that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. I lightly groped one of Hanji’s breasts, hearing her gasp at my touch. I suddenly felt the hand that was in my pants start to move. I let out a whimper when I felt Hanji’s fingers rub against my clit, drawing light circles. “Fuck,” I moaned. I could feel Hanji smirk against my lips, happy with the reply I gave her to her touch.

My hand slowly descended from her breast down to the lower part of her body until I hit the rim of her shorts. I felt her start to speed up her pressure and speed on my clit, momentarily causing my body to stop everything it was doing and focus on her touch. “Hanji,” I moaned her name, gasping before I moaned. I clenched my thighs together, even though I wanted more of her touch my body reacted that way. 

I gasped as I felt her lips break away from mine, already missing the feeling of her lips after a couple seconds. Hanji clicked her tongue in disapproval of my actions, “Now, what was that for.” She leaned closer to me, whispering to my ear, “Spread your legs for me.” She pulled back from my ear, seeing that I followed instructions immediately. She chuckled, seeing how fast that I listened to her, and that my eyes were lusting just like hers. I felt her fingers start to rub against my clit again, making me whimper yet again.

I finally slid my hand under the rim of her shorts and under her panties, I felt her moan against my lips. I had to return her the favor, I started to rub against her clit. We both pulled back from our kiss, to give each other time to catch air into our lungs and to moan to each other all we wanted.

“Y/n,” Hanji moaned, feeling my fingers rub harder against her clit.

“Hanji,” I moaned, feeling her fingers rub harder against my clit.

I started to speed up even more, causing Hanji to speed up on me even more. We were both getting each other off, and damn, we both fucking loved it. The feeling of someone else’s hand inside of you, making you moan, as you feel their body and give them pleasure. The thought of it alone could make me cum, but _experiencing_ it with Hanji, god, I’m seeing stars.

My lips were pursed against each other and my eyes were closed, busy on the feeling of Hanji’s hand getting me off and busy getting Hanji off. “I’m gonna cum,” I moaned, feeling my body get more and more sensitive over her touches.

“Cum,” Hanji whispered against my ear. 

I tried to bite my lip to muffle my moans, but in the end it didn’t help. I stopped rubbing her clit for a moment, my body started to feel a sudden wave of pleasure rush over me. My first instinct was to grip Hanji’s hand, I clutched it tight as my climax climbed over me. I squeezed my hand tightly on hers, clutching my eyes closed, as my orgasm filled my body.

As soon as the wave washed over me I was left with heavy breaths. Once I regained control of myself again, I went back to rubbing against Hanji’s clit. I slowly started to speed up my fingers. Only after a couple moments I could tell she was starting to get closer, feeling her thighs start to clutch against each other and her arching her back. 

“Y/n,” She moaned as she clenched, she couldn’t stand the feeling anymore. “I’m...I’m gonna cum.” I grabbed her hand, feeling her grip it back even tighter. Hanji squeezed her eyes shut as her climax hit her. Her body went limp for a couple moments, everything in her mind going blank except _that_ feeling in her body. 

When the feeling between her legs died down she was now a heavy breathing mess, both of us were. Hanji adjusted herself on the bed, we didn’t expect to lay in that position for so long, our necks got pretty sore from hanging from the edge of the bed. I adjusted myself with Hanji. I felt her arms wrap around me, my head resting in her chest. We both started losing our consciousness fairly quickly, the orgasm made the both of us worn out, giving us fatigued movements and the struggle for our eyes to stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for the support and comments and kudos and everything, it really means a lot to me ;-; <3


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in so long T^T  
> I took a break for a week and then when I came back next thing I knew I was hit with the amazing...writers block!
> 
> Anyways, expect the next chapter in a day or two :)<3

My eyes blinked a couple times as consciousness fell back onto me, I felt like shit. I looked around, unfamiliar with the place that I’ve awoken in. My eyes widened as soon as I noticed someone’s face so close to mine. It was Hanji’s face, I felt her arms around me, still wrapped over me from last night. 

Shit, shit, shit, shit, what the fuck am I doing, my mind raced. I slowly slid out of Hanji’s grasp, very careful to not wake Hanji up. What the fuck did I do last night? What was I thinking? I felt instant regret from the other night as last night rushed back into me. 

Hanji was one of my only friends, if not my only friend, and I just fucking ruined it. Was I fucking high? I mean...kind of, but come on. I sat up on her bed for a moment, contemplating my actions of last night, but I quickly realized that I shouldn’t waste anytime staying and just get the fuck out of here before Hanji wakes up. I’m such a fucking idiot.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck shit, fuck shit, fuck shit.” I mumbled to myself as I hastily left her apartment through her open window, a more silent option than opening her door. I almost tripped as I made my way to the fire escape ladder, but quickly caught myself before making any noise.

I’m probably fucking late for work. What was I even thinking last night. Am I stupid? I mean, probably yeah. How can I even face her later? Maybe I should pretend like this shit never happened. “We can still be friends right? but after what just happened maybe we can’t... No, no, no, we can still be friends, again, we’ll just pretend like that didn’t just happen.” I tried to convince myself as I climbed in through my window into my apartment.

-

Coming back from work, my phone was glued onto my eyes as it usually is. I opened the doors of my apartment building, going through this place so many times I’ve practically memorized my steps to the elevator, so no bother even needing to look up to see where I was going.

I walked into the elevator as usual, casually looking up to press the button of my floor, but in doing so my eyes landed on the person next to me, Hanji. My eyes widened seeing her. She looked tense, her eyes widened also. The elevator door was about to close, but with all the power I had inside of me, I slammed my finger onto the ‘open door’ button of the elevator. I felt a relief seeing the door open back up, glad that I wasn’t too late to click the button. I didn’t even glance back at her, as I rushed out of the elevator. 

“I forgot something,” I lied, trying to make the air not as uncomfortable, but obviously that didn’t work. She probably saw right through my lie. I pretended to run out of the building door and grab something as the elevator closed again. I was outside of the front door when I thought that the elevator door was probably closed by now. I hesitantly turned around,but was relieved to see that the elevator was closed.

I walked back into the building, this time taking the stairs just to make sure I couldn’t bump into Hanji. It was just four floors so it shouldn’t be that bad of a walk. 

“I fucking told myself that we were cool, what the fuck was that. I should’ve just acted casually.” I muttered to myself as I walked up the stairs. “We’re just fucking friends, that shit didn’t happen. We’re just fucking friends, nothing happened. We’re just friends, what happened last night did not happen.” I repeated again and again to myself as I walked up the stairs, trying to convince myself to get some balls and attempt to break the wall that we both just created for ourselves.

I slammed my apartment door shut upon entering. My head immediately slammed on the door. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, did I just lose my only friend? It’s probably gonna be awkward now. Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.” I shouted, using the freedom of being alone, as I repeatedly banged my head against the door like a madman. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!” 

Damn, I really just fucked my only friend. I’m so fucking stupid, what the actual fuck was I thinking.

-

It’s been almost two weeks, I haven't seen Hanji since that goddamn day at the elevator. I don’t know why, but I fucking miss her. It’s almost like we’re fucking strangers now. Sometimes we run across each other at the entrance of the apartment building, but all we do is manage to avoid each other somehow. Whether it’s just pretending we didn’t see each other and walk the other way or just acting like we forgot something and making a run for it. We can’t even face each other, but I miss her so fucking much, I feel so lonely without her. My only friend that I actually talk with is gone and I don’t know what to do. Well...I do know what to do, I have to talk to her, but damn I don’t even know if I can look at her without running away like a pussy. Hanji, what the fuck do I do now?

I heard a knock at my door. I jumped up from my bed, hoping that it was the delivery dude here to bring me some stupid shit I impulsively bought on the internet. I peered open the door, about one third of the door was out. My eyes widened when I saw who was at the door, our eyes made contact. Shit, it was Hanji.

“Y/n...” Hanji managed to mutter the first word of our encounter after we awkwardly stared at each other for a good five long seconds.

I snapped out of my startled daze, “Hanji…” I quickly realized that Hanji was just standing outside of my door as I was peeking through the crack of my door, my hands stammered as I hurriedly swang the door open wider.

“We haven’t...talked in sometime…” Hanji stuttered.

“We haven’t…” My lips pursed against each other, not knowing what else to do in this awkward air. There was silence now, an uncomfortable, awkward silence. I looked down at the floor, not knowing what to say. “...So...why’d come?”

Hange, didn’t reply for a moment, giving herself some time to think of the correct thing to say. She rehearsed the lines just before knocking at my door, but all a sudden she forgot everything she memorized. “I...uh...I really missed seeing you.” She softly smiled as she looked into my eyes. “I’m, uh, really about the other night.”

I couldn’t help but to softly smile, seeing her after all this time made me feel happy. I missed seeing her face, “Don’t apologize, it’s fine I was also-” 

“I was just, uh-I really don’t know what I was thinking. I messed shit up, and I’m really sorry about that.” Hanji unintentionally interrupted me, 

I felt bad for her apologizing so much to me, I felt like I was at fault too. I made a mistake too. “Hanji, you don’t have to apolo-”  
  
“Y/N, I WAS JUST DUMB AND HORNY! I WAS STUPID AND FUCKING HORNY, AND I’M SO SORRY!” Hanji immediately realized that she was starting to shout and that she was interrupting me. She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what just got over me…”

“You’re acting like it was only your fault,” I chuckled. “It’s not just your fault, it was mine too, and I’m sorry for that… You think we can still be friends?”

Hanji tried to loosen her tense self up after hearing me chuckle, she took another deep breath. I saw her eyes relax. “Yeah,” Her small smile came back. “I fucking missed you these past few weeks.” She chuckled to herself, realizing how pitiful she sounded when she heard herself.

I lightly giggled, “Same.” I looked down at the floor for a moment, not knowing what to say next. “You can maybe come over at my place or something... You know, I’ve been saving this bottle of wine I bought myself since my birthday,” I remembered. I looked into her eyes to find her reply. “8:00 pm sound good?”

“Yeah,” Hanji softly giggled while adjusting her glasses, “That’d be nice, I’ll come over.”

~

I took two wine glasses out of my cabinet, being careful not to drop one on the floor and have it shatter, because that’s something I would totally do. I placed the glasses on my counter, then paused for a minute, leaning onto the country and staring into nothingness, lost in my own thoughts and spaced out.

“Is it going to be weird now? Isn’t this the first time she’s been at my place? Damn…” I took a moment to look around my apartment, seeing how it was a mess. I wasn’t exactly messy, but it just looked so bland. I’ve been here for over a year and yet I’m still too lazy to decorate or properly furnish my place.

I moved the wine glasses onto the table next to my small couch then went back to the kitchen to grab the wine bottle. After placing the bottle on the table next to the glasses I waited for Hanji, my back leaned against the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D


	7. Part 7 (nsfw)

Half an hour past, still no sign of Hanji, I still sat on the couch waiting for her. I turned, staring at the bottle of wine for a couple moments before making my mind. "She probably isn't coming," I whispered. I dragged myself to the kitchen to grab a wine bottle opener. I slouched back onto the couch, grabbing the bottle just before I sat down. I went to grab a wine glass, but stopped myself. "Fuck it, better to not wash any dishes anyways," I mumbled to myself.

I struggled for a moment to open the bottle, but once it was open I threw the opener on the floor and my lips made contact with the bottle. I took a good swig, wiping my lips with the back of my hand to get rid of the extra residue of wine off my lips after finally breaking contact with the bottle. Drinking wine straight out of the bottle, felt nice. Last time I did this was probably in college. Gotta thank my dad's genes for being the heavy drinker.

I stared into nothingness for a second, enjoying that burning taste in my throat before taking another swig straight out of the bottle. After taking a couple more gulps of the alcohol I began to get tipsy. I was a bit drunk, but I still had a good control over myself.

I suddenly heard a knock, my eyes darted to the door. Is it Hanji? I grabbed my phone from the table to see the time as I made my way to the door. I checked the time before unlocking the door and opening it, it was 9:01 pm. When I opened the door Hanji stood there. I took a step out of the way of the door to let her in my place.

She immediately noticed the faint red color of my cheeks. She chuckled. "Guess you started without me, sorry for being late."

"It's fine, I'm just...uh...happy to see you." I sat on the couch, leaving space for Hanji to sit. I placed one of the wine glasses on the coffee table in front of us and was about to pour wine into the glass before Hanji put her hand over my hand to stop me.

"It's fine," Hanji smiled, taking the wine bottle out of my hand, she took a good gulp of the wine straight out the bottle. When her lips disconnected from the container she handed me the bottle back. "Damn, that shit is good." She made the satisfied sound with her throat like a dad after drinking alcohol.

I chuckled, "I don't think I've ever seen you drink, you're pretty good." I took a quick chug of my own.

Hanji grinned as she leaned back on the couch, "Now you don't have to do any dishes." Her eyes stayed on me, never leaving my eyes. "I miss doing this with you."

"Same," I passed the bottle to her to take her turn drinking. "I know it's only been like what...2 weeks? But I wondered, you stopped smoking yet? Remember you telling me that you wanted to stop."

"No, probably got worse," She admitted, softly laughing at her bad habits.  
  
"You gotta stop smoking," I chuckled.

"You did it with me that one night, and you seemed to have enjoyed it." Hanji playfully punched me in the arm.

I just softly smiled at her remark, "Still." I took the bottle of wine that was sitting in her hands and took my own drink. She chuckled as she adjusted her glasses, seeing that I didn't deny her statement.

Hanji pursed her lips together, bracing herself for the next words that were to come out of her mouth. Her eyes paced back and forth, to me then down to her lap then back. "You started dating anyone yet? Last time I knew, you were single." She cringed in her head, hearing what she just said come out of her mouth.

I chuckled at her question, handing her the bottle for her turn to drink, "No...you?"

"I don't think I need anyone right now, I enjoy being by myself." Hanji muttered. Whether she knew it or not, Hanji was lying, deep inside she desperately wanted someone. She hugged her pillow at night imagining it was someone.

"Well...what if you fall in love?" I gave her a sly smirk.

Hanji chuckled at my question.

"I _mean_."

"That shit's stupid." She lifted the wine bottle up to meet her lips and take a drink.

"It's not rocket science or magic." My body turned to her even more, one of my arms leaning on the backrest of the small couch.

Hanji tried to not laugh while swallowing the liquor, not wanting to spill it out and choke on the liquid. "I think I'd rather do rocket science." Hanji joked. I laughed, but once both our laughters died down the room fell silent.

Hanji's smile slowly turned straight, her eyes going blank, it seemed as though something had suddenly dawned upon her. Hanji took another drink out of the bottle, but this time instead of just a 'drink' she started chugging it, her lips staying on the glass for a good ten seconds.

" _Damn_ ," My eyes widened, impressed by her drinking skills. Hanji let out a hefty breath as soon as the bottle left her lips, wiping her mouth of liquor with the sleeve of her arm. "Let me try!" I excitedly put my hand out to her so she would hand me the bottle for me to go next.

Hanji knew I was a good drinker, but she wasn't so sure if I could drink _that_ much so quickly. Hesitantly, she handed me the bottle and I gave myself a shot.

The liquid started entering my lips. I started to feel that good burn in my throat, but pulled away after six or seven seconds because I couldn't take in anymore and some wine started running down from my lips to my neck then down to my shirt. I left out a heavy exhale as soon as I placed the bottle down. "Holy shit." I shouted. Out of nowhere, my mouth let out a huge burp.

Hanji and I started hysterically laughing. "IT VIBRATED!" Hanji banged her fist on the couch to try to control her frantic laughter. She laughed so hard that she let out a wheeze, causing me to also start uncontrollably laughing even more. My laugh wasn't so much better than hers, sounding like a goat, which caused her to laugh and wheeze even more.

Half the bottle of wine was probably gone, maybe even more. We were definitely drunk by now. It took some time for the laughter to die down this time, for fucks sake, we were about to fucking piss our pants.

Even though we both stopped laughing there were still small smiles on both of our faces. I stared at Hanji, seeing that her cheeks were flushed and red from the alcohol, my cheeks were probably the same too.

I reached my hand out to her, noticing something on her face, "You got something." I moved a stray strand of hair out of Hanji's face, tucking it behind her ear. Hanji suddenly grasped my wrist just as the touch of my fingers left her ear. I gasped at the sudden contact, my eyes darting to her eyes. We both looked into each other's eyes, my eyes slowly defrosted from shock as I stared into Hanji's comforting and tender eyes, which were admiring mine.

Hanji shattered the stillness of the room and our eyes, with her hand still gripped on my wrist and her other hand on my lower waist, she pushed me down on the couch. My head hit lightly against the arm rest, her body was over mine. Before I knew it, she went in for a kiss. My face lifted slightly to aid my mouth to her lips. I instinctively closed my eyes, intoxicated by the kiss of her lips, the taste of them were so addicting. Ever since they first touched mine, I couldn't forget it. Without even realizing it, my hand caressed the side of her jaw. Our breaths were gradually getting heavier as each moment passed.

Consciousness suddenly dawned back to me, I opened my eyes and pulled away. "Are we doing this because we're drunk?" I whispered, looking up at her eyes then to her lips then back.

"I think I would do this even if I was sober." She softly chuckled.

A small smile appeared on my lips, "I think I would too."

With that answer, her face and so did her lips leaned closer to mine, our lips intertwined yet again. Both of our eyes closed as our lips nipped at each other. The hand that held my wrist moved to the side of my face, her fingers delicately playing with the cartilage of my ear.  
  
We pulled back again, this time it was Hanji's doing. "Fuck, I have feelings for you." She confessed, her voice soft and raspy.

A part of me inside jumped up when she said those words. "I do too," I whispered. We stared at each other for a couple more moments before I put both my hands on the sides of her face and pulled her lips to mine. I didn't realize my feelings for her until I felt those amazing lips against mine again, those lips caused something to dawn on me. I felt her lips withdraw from mine, off guard because of how soon. "Hm?" I mumbled to her, curious as to why she would leave me.

"I don't want to make it feel like I'm speed-running this 'relationship' for you or whatever. We can take it slow if you want, anything you're comfortable with." Hanji assured me, she had to make sure if we were going to do this, we both knew the turn the kiss was taking. She didn't want another night of us doing something we'd both regret.

A smile still prevalent on my lips, I reassured her, "I like how this is going right now." I looked down at her lips, seeing them lean in closer.

After a couple minutes we both started to become more and more antsy, our hands gliding into other places of our bodies. Hanji's lips trailed down to my neck, sucking sweetly on it's soft skin. My hands slowly got more tangled in her hair as I felt her tender lips sweetly nipping at my neck. Hanji's hands subtly went under my shirt as she left kisses on my neck.

I gasped as I felt a sudden touch on my nipple. "Fuck," I breathed out.

"You're not wearing a bra." Hanji whispered into my ear. Her hands hastily and desperately unbuttoned my shirt. I put my hands up to help her unbutton the shirt, but she quickly dismissed my offer, pushing my hand away. "Let me do it for you," She whispered again, her raspy voice was like velvet.

When my shirt was fully unbuttoned, I was left exposed, exposed to Hanji. "Fuck," She breathed out, biting on her finger as she dwelled on the sight of me exposed like this. Hanji went back to my lips for a moment before going to my breast, softly sucking on them.

I moaned when I felt her tongue swirl against my sensitive nipple. I softly gripped on her hair for support. I opened my eyes, looking down to see the sight of Hanji sucking on my tits. Her eyes looked up to meet mine, Hanji held eye contact with me as she kept on sucking them. Her eyes intensely peered up at me, as her mouth did work.

I couldn't help but to softly yelp when I felt her teeth against my nipple, we both giggled at the surprised sound that came out of my mouth before, Hanji knew exactly what she was doing. Hanji returned to my lips again, her hand groping my breast through the kiss. Hanji's tongue slid between my lips, I felt her tongue grate against my tongue. The sound of spit and saliva, and heavy breathing filled the room.

I slipped my fingers under her shirt, unclasping her bra, then taking off her shirt and bra at once while we gave each other sloppy kisses. My hands gently massaged her breasts, they were soft like dough. My fingers softly pinched her nipples, feeling them rapidly erect harder between my fingers. Hanji moaned against my mouth, a reaction to the pleasure.

I started grinding against Hanji, not able to take that feeling between my legs anymore. I moaned at the feeling. Hanji smirked at my desperation. Hanji hands dipped down to take off my shorts and panties, she tugged at it, struggling a bit to take them off. She left my lips, trying to focus herself on taking the shorts and panties off. We started giggling at her struggling. When she finally took them off she tossed them to the floor then went back to peck me on the lips.

My breath hitched, feeling her fingers glide against my clit. "Hanji," I moaned against her lips.

Hearing me moan her name was like a drug to her, she wanted to hear it again and again, "Fuck, y/n." She started speeding up on my clit, rubbing small circles against it. She adored the way I started squirming underneath her as she sped up and how I whimpered at each touch.

She licked my lips before leaving them and made her way to my breasts again. She loved them so much, she could stare at them all day. She loved how they felt against her teeth, she loved how they felt against her tongue. While her mouth sucked on one of my tits her other hand groped and played with the other.

Hanji's finger slowly trailed down a bit lower under my clit until she hit the place. Her finger dipped in, barely going in, then going back out.

I gasped at the sensation, loving the feeling of her teasing me with her fingers, but wanting her to finger fuck me already. "Please," I begged for her fingers, my words breathy.

She pulled away from my breasts and to my face, she looked down on me. "Beg again," She smirked, finding joy in my desperation.

"Hanji, please, please, please," I pleaded, innocently looking up at her.

"Fuck," Hanji bit her lip. She lowered her face closer to mine, hovering just over my eyes. She admired my eyes then without warning, she forced her fingers into me. My back arched and my eyes shut tight at the pleasure.

"Hanji," I moaned, pulling her face closer to mine with my hands, her forehead resting on mine. My breathing became heavier as her fingers thrusted into me, her fingers curling. She smirked, loving how I was reacting to her.

Hanji lowered her lips down to mine, taking her sweet time for them to touch, but when they did our kiss was hungry, desperate, and passionate. I slightly parted my lips for her to enter, to which her tongue entered almost immediately.

Hanji moved back to my clit, she didn't bother to take the time to go slow and gradually speed up. With her pace so quick I could already feel my orgasm nearing me. I held my hand on her nape as our tongues played with each other.

I felt that sharp feeling inside of me, I lifted my head to pull away from her lips, throwing my head back, and pushed her face to my neck. "I'm gonna-" I couldn't finish my sentence before the shockwaves washed over me, my hips bucked against her hand. I whined at the feeling as it took over my brain. My hands gripped around Hanji's shoulders. Hanji kept on moving her fingers during my orgasm.

After seeing that the orgasm finished coming down onto me she took her fingers out and sucked on them, enjoying the sweet taste of me. It took me some time before I could get the ability for me to properly speak back, all I could do was release heavy breaths.

“Let me do you now,” I whispered in between my heavy breathing.

Hanji smiled, seeing how tired I was. “It’s fine, we can do me another time,” She whispered back, giving me a kiss on my forehead.


End file.
